I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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