so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize