i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
