Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
