It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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