i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
