Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
