He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
