it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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