I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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