I met the friendliest cop last night
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
