Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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