ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
