so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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