Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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