whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize