it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
