I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
should my penis look like a turkey
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
