It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
