everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize