He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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