I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
