yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
