He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
