I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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