i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
