It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
