The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
