I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
