i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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