I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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