I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
