Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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