So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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