it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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