New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
meet me or not, i'm out of control
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
