yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
