so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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