So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
