Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
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