just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
