my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize