i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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