There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just googled if crying burns calories
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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