I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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