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• (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.

  Fav 140 2203 38830

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again

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• 

  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

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• (925): View more from California

  We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.

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• (619): View more from California

  Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.

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• 

  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (765): View more from Indiana

  so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting

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• (210): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.

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