I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
