last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize