The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
