She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You were trust falling into bushes
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
