You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
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Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
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So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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