I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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