I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize