I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
