Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize