Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The air taste purple.
Randomize
