Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
