No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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