So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
