We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
