Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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