also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
