is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
