ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
