I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
