There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
