hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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