I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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