I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
where are my eyebrows?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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