Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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