Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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